Post 4 -- Profile Deconstruction #1 uncutone97

Today I am just going to go ahead and pick apart a single profile. I know it’s kind of mean, but I can’t really resist doing that sometimes. And hey who knows maybe it will end up in him finding someone but I highly doubt that.

This guy was one of my stalkers so I had to check his profile out, although he didn’t have a photo for me to look at or anything. Just a match percentage, which turned out to be 84%, which he deserved with over 500 questions answered. So here’s that shot:



The name alone through me off. Uncutone97. Here’s my train of thought

1. He has a foreskin
2. 97 is significant for something, maybe when he lost his virginity, so if he’s 34 now, that means he lost it at about 19
3. 2012-34=1978 –> 1997-1978=19

Sure I’m a weirdo. So I start reading his profile.



The naked thing I was like “Ok I can live with that I’m naked a lot of the time”… Then I read his three words, which used to be on OkC towards the top of your profile but they did away with it. His three words “I’m big, fat, and horny….” GREAT. So now I have this image of a very hairy fat dude, sitting around with his uncut pean hanging out while watching pornography and thinking about the time he lost his virginity at 19… I hesitate but continue to read



Seems like this guy likes to drink and work… basically what I do… nothing to see here carry on



Good with his hands and a giggle… which means he’s talking about vagina fondling… OR maybe he’s really good at painting those little tiny figurines… since clearly he has no social life outside of drinking and work… Now that I think about it his hands probably shake too much from DTs so he probably can’t paint those little things… Ok ok, he’s good with his hands therefore he is good at picking up the pint and putting it down. GOT IT

Oral things? Like eating drinking ect? HORSE WHISPERER!? Go here for a good laugh that talks about horse whispering…. Kind of.



I got really confused here, but then when I looked at his details I noticed he was 6’7” (supposedly) JESUS FUCKING CHRIST 6’7”!? HOW DOES HE DO ANYTHING!? Now I understand why he’s naked all of the time, he can’t find any clothing that fits him…. Just snuggies… or really big t shirts… or IDK… man… by the “I was as short as you a half hour ago” I think he is referring to his “monster” penis. Which probably isn’t that monster like anyway.



So here we’re looking at the typical answers for the first two. Then sex in all ways and forms…

1. With my right hand
2. With my sex toys
3. With my left hand
4. other weird soft things

Imagination for his addiction to masturbation, his own place to hang out for privacy from masturbation, and he gets up in the morning to relieve himself of his massive morning wood… I think I got everything pinned down pretty well, how about you?



How to make your next million? Does that mean that he already has made a million!? I’d like to know.



Length of foreskin? Like how do you even measure that? Why would someone want to measure that? Why would someone want to KNOW that?



I didn’t note what he was looking for, but he doesn’t mention casual sex. For someone who has a profile filled with sex references you would think that would be something. The whole lonely thing with the message me if proves the masturbation references above.

Ok so I’m a little harsh, but honestly as a woman, would you even bother to message someone like that? Personally I think a first date would = coffee served with a side of rape.

Until next time
Much Love
Tanya