Post 2 -- First messages... The awkward, weird, and stupid.

In today’s news I’d like to talk about those awkward first messages you get. As a woman I personally like a message with some depth to it. I don’t want to see “Hey baby what’s up?” How am I supposed to respond to that? Even better messages where someone just says “Hi”… I get so pissed. Sometimes I just message them back and go off. Which always gets a few interesting responses. Here’s my favorite.



I suppose I should put a disclaimer in my profile “WARNING MEGA BITCH”. I understand my profile is a long read, You don’t need to read the entire thing. Skimming is fine. At least take the time to read the bottom. Where it says don’t bother if you’re message is only going to be three words…. Think he deactivated due to my meanness? Naturally I get some smart asses like this:



Still I replied. And then I get one about being a pirate in a past life? I didn’t even mention pirates anywhere… I think… where the fuck do these people come up with these things!?



Oh this was a gem…



He really laughed at himself there… No I will not cuddle with you even though Wisconsin is boring. THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW YOU’RE A NYMPHO… with your hand probably… sheeeeeyat

Another four worder!



Thanks for letting me know buddy… I don’t think I would use neat to describe myself… ever… Who the fuck says that anyway!?

First message



I hope everyone starts calling that kid. I never texted him by the way. If he gets kicked off for taking too long on OkC… how the fuck am I supposed to text him? And it wasn’t sent from the mobile ap so I’m thinking… he just needed an in to drop the number. I have no idea!

*cough*



I choo choo choose you! I never chose him, WOULD never choose him and I’m guessing quiver set that one up. Instead of using the “…” it’s “,,,” … Just looks funny. He’s on the internet he could look at a map (about 45 minutes) I did mention something about rolling down hills towards the end of my profile… I don’t think it would be an appropriate first date. Maybe like the third or fourth.

The best for last:



He just called me a druggie and a slut. Is this kid high? I don't know. To be honest I probably rated him highly because of his curly hair. He found me via quiver. I got this follow up after.



I told him I do meth sometimes. Eh. Whatever. I wonder if his way of messages works on women. I also wonder what kind of drugs he is on... bath salts mayhaps? Next thing we know he's the next face eater *shudders*

Those are just some of the gems I have. I’ll be sure to add some more of these. Maybe do a most awkward message of the month post or something . I haven’t been on much at all because I’m super occupied with the move. I am CERTAIN when I get to North Carolina and settle I will have an abundance of weird coffee dates, awesome/awful dinners, crazy bar adventures, ect… Time will tell

As usual comment, email me your stories here.

Much love
Tanya